Saturday, October 25, 2008

the wind

i am sitting here, wind dancing outside my window, trees keeping step...i am quaking here, really, as soon i will know what my illness is, with all its ramifications. the wind sounds soft and gentle.

i struggle not to jump ahead, to how this will change my life, how bad it could be, what will i lose? the unknown is beyond stressful and terrifying. but will the known be worse? in my layperson merck manual persona, i identifed the 11 out of 10 symptoms that i have of this disease.

i keep mantra-ing both the doctors...especially the second one whose "if it is the worst case scenario it is unbelievably early" statement. unbelievably early is what this cancer needs to be eradicated. i repeat to myself benign benign B9 B9, as if somehow this 6 centimeter invader can hear me. well attitude is everything, so it is said in the 21st century.

i still hear the wind, i never want to stop hearing the wind

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I am a proud senior, forever hippie, who has incorporated the peace and love vibe into the technosphere of the 21st century. Gratitude and love of all beings is what I live for and how I live. My husband and I are guardians of pteribird in heaven and magic Mikey a special needs senior parrot, whose intelligence and love is beautiful and humbling. Blessings