something burrowed someone blue

i have spent the last few weeks in a race against my fears, anxiety on the rail. apprehension ahead by a nose. indulging my inner white rabbit behaviors. aimlessly, or aimfully, busy busy busy...

last night all that i have tried so hard to bury deep unearthed itself. the reality of what i am facing, the known and the unknown, stared right at me. i could not look, nor run, away. i cried for the first time since this nasty health episode began...the pandora's box sprang wide open, its snakes wriggling out. i fell asleep, the lid again closed, but not all the occupants went back inside. i could hear a faint hiss.

today i sit, drained. lost. sad. the rustlings of depression quite palpable.