Wednesday, October 15, 2008

i have been a woman who has never had children. i have managed to exist in an oblique fashion with this for most of my failed reproductive years. reminders of my non fecundity are legion. today i went to a baby shower, my first actually, as my friends were either single or not producing children for whatever reason. i felt as if i were on the outside, looking in...but this time the shade was partially pulled down, as if to can peek in but only so far....
the warmth the party guests had for each other, that warmth that comes with prolonged acquaintanceship and consanguinuity, things that i am no part of...
it was like live theater, and i, an invisible audience.
the need to feel a part of something...not diminished by time or emotional exhaustion.
a child inside me running...away, toward....just aimlessly running, never stopped nor stopping...

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I am a proud senior, forever hippie, who has incorporated the peace and love vibe into the technosphere of the 21st century. Gratitude and love of all beings is what I live for and how I live. My husband and I are guardians of pteribird in heaven and magic Mikey a special needs senior parrot, whose intelligence and love is beautiful and humbling. Blessings