Wednesday, October 15, 2008

i have been a woman who has never had children. i have managed to exist in an oblique fashion with this for most of my failed reproductive years. reminders of my non fecundity are legion. today i went to a baby shower, my first actually, as my friends were either single or not producing children for whatever reason. i felt as if i were on the outside, looking in...but this time the shade was partially pulled down, as if to say...you can peek in but only so far....
the warmth the party guests had for each other, that warmth that comes with prolonged acquaintanceship and consanguinuity, things that i am no part of...
it was like live theater, and i, an invisible audience.
the need to feel a part of something...not diminished by time or emotional exhaustion.
a child inside me running...away, toward....just aimlessly running, never stopped nor stopping...

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greetings! i have managed to incorporate my eternal woodstock nation spirit with the high tech 21st century world. i am an artist/writer, who dabbles in rhyme, and, sometimes, reason. my passions are my husband, who is truly the wind that ruffles my sails, animals rights, yoga...waking up in the morning. i find inspiration in too many things to list, and far too many more to remember. sketching, watercolor painting,poetry and photography are my ways of expressing joy and gratitude. from living with a chronic illness, i have learned the beauty of each day, and treat each as another sun salutation, and another chance.