Wednesday, October 15, 2008

integrity and its fragile maintenance

i recently stood at a crossroads both worn and unfamiliar. i made a spur of the moment(albeit long simmering) decision to express my discontent toward someone who's behavior has been insidious and hurtful. her reaction was one of hurt, her response, defensive. a few minutes later, i approached her and apologized.
this juxtaposition of maintaining my integrity, ergo to earn the respect for others, versus keeping quiet, in order to avoid conflict and disapproval, has tormented me my entire life. i spent years taking all types of emotional abuse and nonsense...which has taken an enormous chunk out of an already moth-eaten self esteem.
each time i take this necessary step, i do not get more acclimated to the process, but it has become much easier in its execution.

the fallout remains to be experienced

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greetings! i have managed to incorporate my eternal woodstock nation spirit with the high tech 21st century world. i am an artist/writer, who dabbles in rhyme, and, sometimes, reason. my passions are my husband, who is truly the wind that ruffles my sails, animals rights, yoga...waking up in the morning. i find inspiration in too many things to list, and far too many more to remember. sketching, watercolor painting,poetry and photography are my ways of expressing joy and gratitude. from living with a chronic illness, i have learned the beauty of each day, and treat each as another sun salutation, and another chance.