what i missed

what i missed was not knowing who
you would be,
but i knew you were a
part of me.
what  i missed
was your wonder,
the world that you learned,
living and feeling each
slight toss or turn.
i missed being a shoulder
to lean on, to cry,
when things got
confusing as the world
tumbled by.
what i missed were
your victories,
be they large
or small.
what i missed was the joy
of loving them all.
so the empty walks with me,
though quieter, now.
what i missed was a
never
and would never be now.
i will not miss today
or the search for the light.
i feel when he holds me,
and

tells me
goodnight.