l'anne prochaine...mon anniversaire triste

these have been dark days indeed for me, as another year passes and i get one step closer to end times. another year older...wiser, wizened emotionally...this has not been a good year. it has been one filled with health issues and severe emotional pain...as well as a visit to an old habit, which i have managed to get under control.....tough little lady i be.

the next year....quien sabe?  would like a respite from heartbreak and a foray into genuine happiness...perhaps that is asking too much, but to the dieties that be...this i ask.

fell down a dark tunnel....scratched the walls,ascended until my fingers bled...found a small opening, light shining in...followed the beam until i crawled upon land...still looking around, not sure if i want to stay here...

happy birthday to me...the choir not responding, no other voices heard...the candle hardly flickers, noone says a word

 

honor, decency, integrity and principles have been relegated to the back wall of human behaviors. those of us who dare to conduct our lives by these behaviors are sentenced to isolation, as they will either be exploited by others, or avoided. loved perhaps, but not embraced.

je n'ai pas aucun choix

sauf qu'essayer la vie

encore une fois

 

no hay un sitio para mi

no quiero vivir  mas aqui

the little girl

the little girls pain was so intense

she had lost her last line of defense

trying hard not to self debauch

drowning in this endless ouch

why stick around when there is  so much pain

a question she asks over and over again

 needing to find complete relief

from this never ending grief

would it be better to say goodbye

then live inside an endless cry?

i am a free spirit whose wings have been clipped by the reality of being alone

be real.  artifice will catch up with you and ensnare you within its walls