another night with eyes pried open
cannot sleep but still am hoping
mind is chasing its own tail
wish exhaustion would prevail
be the best you can be, do the best that you can. you will emerge self-empowered. reach for that inner strength, whose existence you have denied for so long. it is there, waiting for you.
when the smoke finally clears, and the ashes cool, you will stand strong and whole. the world within you will open the world without...you will be able to accept love, that which you feel, that which is felt for you.
your struggle is a journey. you can chose your final destination. chose wisely, with your head and heart. if you stumble along the way, get up, dust off the dirt and move on.
the rainbow lies ahead....
these have been dark days indeed for me, as another year passes and i get one step closer to end times. another year older...wiser, wizened emotionally...this has not been a good year. it has been one filled with health issues and severe emotional pain...as well as a visit to an old habit, which i have managed to get under control.....tough little lady i be.
the next year....quien sabe? would like a respite from heartbreak and a foray into genuine happiness...perhaps that is asking too much, but to the dieties that be...this i ask.
fell down a dark tunnel....scratched the walls,ascended until my fingers bled...found a small opening, light shining in...followed the beam until i crawled upon land...still looking around, not sure if i want to stay here...
happy birthday to me...the choir not responding, no other voices heard...the candle hardly flickers, noone says a word
honor, decency, integrity and principles have been relegated to the back wall of human behaviors. those of us who dare to conduct our lives by these behaviors are sentenced to isolation, as they will either be exploited by others, or avoided. loved perhaps, but not embraced.
the little girls pain was so intense
she had lost her last line of defense
trying hard not to self debauch
drowning in this endless ouch
why stick around when there is so much pain
a question she asks over and over again
needing to find complete relief
from this never ending grief
would it be better to say goodbye
then live inside an endless cry?