she III

she needs her life 

to have some clout

to be what someones

life's about

her heart cries at

the empty space

in the mirror

next to her face

she II

she ran right into

her liquid buffer

as she could no longer

stand to suffer

but as the early morning

began its reign

all her troubles

remained the same

she

she spends her days

in a busy haze

hoping her misery

is a phase

but the night is too long

she cannot be that strong

she runs from the pain

she feels all over again

seeking any form of relief

to stop her sadness

and grief

 

perdu 2

i heard your voice

all night i tossed

crying over

what we lost

i am all cried out

and battle weary

my heart has sunk

my eyes are bleary

i feel like i am reaching

the end of my tether

sometimes it is so hard

to hold it together

deleted

deleted some entries...so dark they even scared me.....will write again if i ever feel good again...from natural causes

i would like to thank robert, jan, joyce, jeff, ed ,wb and maryanne, herb, barb...for although i never articulated to you the full extent of my profound unhappiness, you sensed i was slipping off the rock, and gave me something to hold on to

?s

questions not answered

questions not asked

taking myself

and my life

to task

where it is going

where i have been

the pain of not knowing

what lies therein

going through motions

crying chagrin

seeking out potions

to quiet the din

fearing and yearning

tomorrow unknown

aching and growing

what seeds have i sown

looking forward through

eyes darkened by fear

sadness and heartache

noone real near

on a treadmill with motor broke

weighed so down

i start to choke

does it ever get better

or is it just this

as my eyes get wetter

and i start to list