marriage vows in the 21st century narcissist era

promise on time, to you tweet

friend you on facebook

keep my laptop neat

i promise not to

break the prenup

even if we divorce

right after

the wedding sup

i promise to honor

and obey

all your selfish needs

even if they get in my way

if you promise all the

same to me back

from my attorney

you won't get

too much flack

PART TWO OF THE VERSE, A LITTLE BIT LOUDER, A LITTLE MORE TERSE

i promise to tolerate

even when you come home late

i promise one way or the other

not to want to slap your mother

i promise if your underwear

is on the floor

i will not throw

it out the door

but all of this will be

vexed

if there is any

extramarital text