she sat at her desk, upright, eyes brightely lit, fingers clacking away at her keyboard. this was her connection to the outside world, to people. this felt safe. each new friendship, acceptance, exhilarating.

she had spent most of her life alone, in both the literal and figurative sense. she knew the meaning of both being alone among a crowd of people and no phone calls alone. as much as she yearned for friendship, acquiring and maintaining it were so difficult for her.

she was "different", the worst case scenario for the school years. she watched her classmates mill by, conforming comfortably to some mysterious social code, which included her exclusion. she just lived each day, nose pressed to the cold glass.

she went through the rites of middle class adult passage...bad first marriage, dating, superficial female acquaintances. when she tried to convert the shallow into a deeper friendship, only hurt followed.

she remarried, to a warm, wonderful, loving man. this joy brought with it more social pressures,more potential rejection.

she hid.