tomorrow 845 am i will be sitting at the doctor's office, my husband holding my hand, my mother in transit. i will not be alone physically but illness is the most isolating of experiences. a good support system, which my husband is, makes life with its bumpy road more than manageable, but the fear is uniquely my own.

i am blessed that i have a man as good as my husband. my biggest fear is that somehow, due to this infirmity, i will lose him. the palbability of this fear, coupled with the abject dread of this as yet unidentified ailment...

i have experienced ALONE, the no phone calls, no social plans. walking my route, a watcher not a doer, tickets for the theatre, never in the cast...always in the shadows.

i had ventured out. in doing so i met my fella. how good, decent and loving he turned out to be was and is a total surprise. a chance well taken