dichotomy

i spent all night tossing in my bed

torn between my heart and head

what he wants is not so clear

am i just sport or is he sincere

 

the sun rises

and beneath its outstretched arms

a world awakens slowly

taking in the warmth and glow

gently  rubbing its eyes

to look out the window

bathed in the sun's glory

lives ready to open

autumn

the autumn and its mysteries surround her as she walks......leaves dancing slowly by her feet, waiting for those that remain on the trees, to join them...the sky has a mystical magical visage, even in it chillier moments, the warm smell that emanates,all around.....she continues on her stroll, feet gently nudging the leaves beneath them....eagerly inhaling every scent the air transmits to her.....

fear

the scarey thing about having fear

with it your thoughts are never clear

it blinds all logic, destroys all sense

immobilization its sustenance

ive lived this way for so long now

i want to change...i dont know how

 

 

 

heartstop

this thing in my chest that beats so fast

knows nothing good in life will last

and yet it opens loud and wide

to let someone else look deep inside

why bother keep it closed i say

perhaps that is the only way

 

 

 

refuge

the little girl looked for a place

where she could hide her

wounded face

a place of safety

warmth and care

a place that never

existed

anywhere

and so her refuge never found

she felt so lost and

run aground

 

the wind shifted

the wind had blown warmly and in her direction, and in this glow, she happily stood....then she felt  a change in the breeze that had once surrounded her...it no longer enveloped her as it turned sharply colder and distanced itself ....she went back inside and closed the door.

rain do

she stood transfixed, frozen by the sky and the wind that rustled through her hair....tiny chilly droplets, like diamonds, fell and glistened upon her cheeks, as the wind caressed her body, eyes closed, she could feel the sun glowing upon her as the diamond droplets continued to fall.......she wanted to feel this way  forever, so alive and a part of the true world around her

they kissed

and when their lips parted, they took each other with them

and again

again i am not sleeping

too tired for any weeping

insomnia  demented

why am  i so

tormented?

 

again

here i sit

lost in my plight

another long and

sleepless night

she listens

the night drifts slowly by

as she listens

to the raindrops on the streets

as they glisten

to the thoughts in her head

some of joy

some of dread

 

 

the pit

she sat in the bottom of the pit, crying....she did not know how deep the pit was, as she could not look up....if only she could float to the top of the pit, on her tears

he walked then stopped

he walked and stopped

along the dusty  road

looking back

to measure his load

but up ahead in full

profusion

was something real

not an illusion

he stood still and thought

which way to go

to real and fine

where he could grow

or in the mud

so dark and slow

they kissed

their lips slowly approached, each step closer an exquisite mile....the wind blew outside in subtle accompaniment, raindrops in their cadence....they inched closer to each other, and felt the soft cushions of their lips brush gently and yet passionately.....they heard only the sound of their hearts beating, strong and without fear.....their lips briefly parted, only to eagerly join again...

up

my heart pounded quickly

sounds muffled and deep

feeling quite prickly

unable to sleep

mind loudly racing

plagued by thoughts

of all kinds

no way to stop them

nor leave them

behind

tired beyond measure

yet the incline to steep

unable to find me

a way to go sleep

the night softly pattered

on my still wakened self

as morning approached

with its usual stealth

 

 

 

the door

she looked at the door, and what a door it was.....strong, brightly colored and so inviting....as she approached it, she noticed that at every step, there was an impediment....gingerly she stepped over them and approached the door...about to knock, she noticed a sign which read...knock but dont open...she turned around and as she looked back, she noticed the door was slightly ajar.....she approached again, and another, newer impediment, hindered her path.....she went to the portal and gently touched, hoping it would welcome her in....it did not, and the sign changed...this time it said open ajar but you wont get far....she turned around again.....yet she was still so drawn to the wavering portal, and, as such she glanced over her shoulder, and noticed that the larger, more recent impediment had actually entered the doorway, and the door closed behind it

compromise

compromise is a funny word and can encompass many interpretations....it can mean meeting in the middle, but it must never be compromising ones integrity or dignity...to put oneself in a position of harm is not compromise at all, rather it is selling oneself short......one must never compromise ones self esteem.....healthy compromise occurs where there is room for healthy compromise, not something at the expense of oneself or another........compromise in its pure form is one of the greatest personal skills one can possess, and is necessary in order to relate in a positive fashion with another....however, the key here is that self respect should never be jeopardized.

y

the reason that i write this blog

a place to put my heart

i feel that it is safe here

noone to tear it all apart

to wrestle with my feelings

and those of whom i care

cause im so scared in person

i wouldnt even dare

poet's walk

the poet walked the poet's walk

the night was quiet

there was no talk

alone again herself

she found

no tears would fall

heart run aground

far x

you never really looked at me

saw only what you wanted me

to be

you didnt glance into my heart

took only what you needed to

play your part

you didnt really take the chance

you the only partner

in your dance

this ended oh so long ago

you stayed the same

i chose to grow